If you seek blame, you will reap pain, disappointment, and anger. But if you seek lessons, you will reap understanding, acceptance, and contentment. Blame is a vicious trap, for it binds the person in a mentality of: “if you did not do A B and C, then I would not have been exposed to experience X Y and Z.” In other words, blame is a vortex that sucks a person into the bottomless abyss of victimhood, where powerlessness and despondency reigns. For this mentality always colors our memories with the lugubrious clouds of sorrow and regret that, with each renewed reflection, further aggravates the blame and pain into fiercer anger. That is why there is no such thing as a “happy victim”. Leave blame alone and just speak lessons for yourself to apply. Why? For lessons are actionable and empowering, it puts us in the driver’s seat of change; but blame is non-actionable and enervating, it puts us in the passenger seat of change where we surrender our sovereignty to the actions of others.
It is not easy by any means, but the crucible of trials is where the brightest diamonds are forged. For the Phoenix to arise in the new splendor of a glorious rebirth with a resplendent plumage, Nature mandates it passes through the flames of resurrection… where it must soar above the ashes of blame.
Be the Phoenix: accept the lessons in the burning flames, and resurrect from the fading ashes of blame if you wish to soar the heights of newness.
~Ikenna Q Ezealah
Foundation for Ascent 