A manager/supervisor is livid over an unrelated matter and conveniently dumps their anger on you—who is apparently unconnected to the cause of this disgruntlement. Instantly and inwardly, fury and aggravation hisses up within you, though you suppress their expression due to the imbalanced power dynamics. But the venom smolders and you find yourself heated, though you wear the mask of composure. You struggle for inner balance and wish to protest this maltreatment, for you feel victimized by the unrestrained ravings of another.
The question is: who is at fault? And who needs to be held accountable?
The partially correct, incomplete and thus superficial answer would be: the manager. Sure, the manager is guilty for their uncontrolled flaring, unjustly emptying it on another, and thus should be called to account. But this is only half the story! The other story is our inwardly losing composure and allowing rash anger to hiss up in the soul. We allowed ourselves to be enslaved by the whims of another human through an inner weakness, and this is what oppressed us.
We do not see it, but we often base our composure on the degree to which others affirm thoughts of our own value, so we are easily broken when their attitude deviates from this affirmation. We place subconscious demands for others to accept the overestimated assessment of ourselves, not knowing this often springs from the insecurity of fickle expectations. Hence their momentary anger that rejects this our personal assessment is what grievously wounds our vanity! And vanity is a quality of selfishness, for it focuses on what it wants from its environment, not what it can give helpingly to others. Ergo, we are focused on the respect we “want”’ and did not “get” from this manager, not how we can control ourselves enough to help them with their own composure.
Consequently, the “hissing up” of anger educates us on what desperately needs to be purified within. Furthermore, this is where we must distinguish earthly justice from Divine Justice. In the earthly justice, you were unrelated to the factual cause of their frustration, and since you received it unfairly, you are the victim and they alone should be held accountable! But Divine Justice goes far beyond this. The manager is guilty and will be held accountable…but there is more! The same tendency the manager expressed in “losing control” and lashing out, is the same tendency we expressed in “losing control” and inwardly lashing out. Physically we were unconnected to the matter that caused the anger, but spiritually we were linked by the SAME tendency. And it is THIS tendency that magnetically drew us to the environment where we could outwardly taste what we inwardly nourish, in order through the effort at purification to sever ourselves from it. So spiritually we were connected to the matter, even though physically it seemed were not.
Ergo, the childish raving of the manager is a mirror to show us the equally childish raving of our own heart…where in both cases self-control and composure is desperately lacking! The situational was a help! This is a partial glimpse into the universal comprehensiveness of Divine Justice, in which there are rarely “victims”, but mostly “accomplices”.
Divine Justice encompasses both inner and outward development. So, the manager is sowing seeds of reaping the same thing in future, and we should certainly pursue accountability to correct the maltreatment! But any attempt to physically hold the manager accountable that is unmatched by our inner effort to purify the weakness in the soul that caused us to inwardly “hiss up” is itself a defiance of Divine Justice. For we are deliberately opposing the purification of our own hearts and the educational moment we were guided to experience, for the sake of our spiritual development.
Anyone who can be classified as a true friend will not only try to help us navigate the delicate situation outwardly and pursue outward recourse, but they will point us to the impurity within that needs purification and correction! They will not encourage evil by leaving it unaddressed and letting it run riot, but they will oppose it inwardly and outwardly. However, they will balance the pursuit of external reprisals with the effort of inner purification of the spirit.
The reader should know this is not a hypothetical event in which I place myself comfortably to the side, but is actually something I personally faced and had to inwardly contend with. We have to continually cultivate the disposition of being firm, stern, and unrelentingly severe with ourselves where a weakness flares us, if we wish to ascend. We must rid ourselves of this victimhood mindset that provides countless excuses not to purify and change defects in the soul.
Based on our current disposition, is this easy? Not really.
But do we wish to ascend? If so, we cannot spare any earnest effort!
We must get to work!
~Ikenna Q Ezealah