“Staying in your lane” — Barriers & Tips

What tempts people to constantly interfere on the path of others? Thus never “staying in their lane”?

Through soul searching and assessing myself closely during the course of life experiences, and also meticulously scrutinizing the concepts of my fellowman, there are three things I have personally observed to be conceptual impediments to “staying in your lane”. I will list and explain them.


1) Inability of a person to decipher what is meant for them.
In this case they can either quietly and earnestly seek it with a cheerful heart (if they are of goodwill), or jealousy and envy can arise at the juxtaposition between their undiscovered lane and the appearance of another’s more cultivated and discovered lane, which then prompts them to “interfere” in order to “take” (if they are unscrupulous).

2) The lack of sustained effort needed to actualize what is “meant for them”.
Even if their “lane” is identified, the effort and discipline needed to stay there and cultivate it might prove too much for most. Hence, they become tempted through their own laziness and emboldened through their own desire for instant gratification to turn again to “acquire” what seems ready-made from another’s lane, i.e. “get in another’s lane”.

3) The belief that another’s path holds more value and provides greater joys.
Even if they identify and work to cultivate their lane, a person could become disgruntled through the misconception that another’s lane is “brighter” and “better”, and holds greater potential for joys and successes than their own. This conceptual seed breeds dissatisfaction that turns the said person into a malcontent who will thus seek out the treasures on another’s path by all means or at least interfere.

Envy and jealous are chief culprits in this matter. For greater clarity that will elucidate the core of my explanations, I would like to summon the dictionary.com explanation of these two: “Envy and jealousy are very close in meaning. Envy denotes a longing to possess something awarded to or achieved by another…Jealousy, on the other hand, denotes a feeling of resentment that another has gained something that one more rightfully deserves”. Put together, Envy and jealousy are murder weapons of contentment that, if present in a soul, will make interfering on the path of another inevitable.

To put the cherry on top, I will share the following thought on envy I conceived a while ago: “The nature of envy always seeks weaknesses and faults by which to tarnish and discredit the upswing of another. Solely to validate the insecurities of its own depravity and failings.”

Consequently, a great help for “staying in our lane” is to seek with goodwill and a cheerful heart what our unique thread is in the tapestry of life. As we walk this path, we should have the discipline, work ethic, and endurance to materialize this over a long period, knowing we must earn everything through the highest exertion. Finally, to be inoculated from envy and jealousy, we must know everything that enters our path is just and offers us an opportunity to inwardly develop ourselves in some way. When we realize, no matter the outward form, the purpose of circumstances and experiences is to mature each person and provide them the opportunity to attain inner peace and freedom, then we also know the reward is the same for everyone, no matter their lot in life.

Remember the Parable of the Laborers in the Vineyard (Matthew 20:1-16)? Though it conceptually signifies much more, for our purposes here we can just draw lessons from it and discover a direct path to overcoming the base feelings of envy and jealousy. Namely: the reward for each laborer is the same. Each human spirit employed in the field of life will receive an “equal” wage through the experiences of his life. The wage is the opportunity, through experiences, to constantly refine and develop ourselves inwardly. If we are sincere in this effort, we will recognize the guiding Hand of God’s Love and Wisdom that thus offers us a chance to refine and mature ourselves further through experiences, the recognition of which brings us peace and gratitude that then transforms into joy. Ergo, the Universe–as a consequence of our own inner decisions–will always provide us through experiences exactly what we individually need to develop and mature inwardly, through which we can experience peace and joy at the recognition of Divine Love and Justice that guides all things.

So when we recognize the reward for all is the same, i.e. everyone gets what they need to inwardly grow through the experiences of their life, envy and jealousy will leave our souls, and gratitude and peace will enter.

For, why covet another’s path when, with the right attitude and outlook, we are destined the same reward?

~Ikenna Q Ezealah

About Ikenna Q Ezealah

Ikenna Q Ezealah is a writer, author and essayist whose themes embrace human-spiritual development.
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