The fallacy of “deserving better”

For each person, a great murder weapon of spiritual progress is the delusion that we are “more ideal” than the circumstances we find ourselves in. Anyone who believes this hinders their own possibility of development. For, before birth, the tendencies and condition of a human soul, along with what it needs to mature, is precisely calculated to match the political climate, economic dynamics, and social conditions that will surround the human being during the course of its life.

Anyone growing deeper in knowledge never thinks himself more ideal that his environment, only people with limited insight who are bedeviled by a self-adulating vanity think this. The person committed to spiritual development knows that the very conditions that seem “unideal”, are the exact circumstances he desperately needs to mature inwardly.

To expatiate further, what I mean by the delusion of feeling oneself “more ideal” is our penchant for believing we deserve “better” than the experience of the present moment. This attitude and interpretation of events is just a primal scream of rebellion against the distastefulness and discomfort of a circumstance, which infers we feel our condition to be unjust and thus we are “victims” of a harsh treatment of fate.

Sulking like little children, we feel we “deserve better” and thus feel we are “more ideal”. In this petulant and presumptuous attitude, we are indirectly saying we are “more ideal” than the situation, because in our inner being we are grumbling about it and refuse to accept it completely as being just. Whereas, in sooth, the form of the experience is the best way to help us! Like a baby needs the exact form of mushy cereal to get nutrients, so do we need the EXACT form of every single experience in the moment to get the nutrients of spiritual insights and lessons to grow. IF something was more ideal, the wisdom of the Lord in the Laws of Life would manifest that more ideal form. But, as it is, the form of events before us is the only way at the present moment we can be helped. So to rebel against it is to rebel against the help and the Hand who guided it to us. By even thinking there is a “better form” for us to learn the lesson, we are presumptuously saying we “know better” than the Lord and His Will. The thought underpinning this attitude is just arrogant presumption.

Even when we think of “ideals” and “deserving better”, 99% of us think of more comfortable and pleasing events where we are not compelled to exert ourselves, where everything is easy and we do not have to change. Underpinning our notions of “ideal” and “better” is usually a self-serving laziness. So all our wishes are narrow and lethal to our spiritual development. Honestly, the person who searches his soul will realize he does NOT know what is best for himself. We do not, even when we THINK we do. Hence an aspect of real humility is relinquishing our notions of ideal and just submerging wholeheartedly with the lessons of what an experience offers us inwardly. Besides this, suffering, inner tension, disquietude, and agitation is what we will reap. Thus the form of an experience is equally as necessary as the lesson within it!

So we should adjust our mind toward the lesson in every experience we are offered, and invest energy into changing ourselves inwardly. It is only possible to earnestly commence this effort with an open heart when we feel we are deserving of all that comes with an experience, never before.

~Ikenna Q Ezealah

About Ikenna Q Ezealah

Ikenna Q Ezealah is a writer, author and essayist whose themes embrace human-spiritual development.
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