Unhappiness is an insuppressible hunger that persecutes the heart, silently but adamantly. It is an admission of an unfilled desire for something. Wherever there is unhappiness, there is a desire deep within that is hungry for repletion. In my darkest hours of restlessness and agitation, when the sensing of a colossal gap in the soul hangs disturbingly abroad, shadowing my steps like an ominous thunderhead, I have been compelled to inquire thus: “Where do desires come from? What causes them to stir? Why do we even have desires?” I cannot claim my answers irrefutable truth, but through engagement with life it appears deep desires are the souls longing to realize and unfold something.
Upon birth, we receive an influx of endless stimuli, inducements and impressions from our environment. Concepts, notions, desires and orientations of an endless variety assail us to adopt them like a busy marketplace. Should we be left without any guidance, it follows we would be compelled to adopt the impressions of others with the sad consequence of living the fate of another, instead of our own. But luckily this is where the help of the soul comes in. The soul is a satellite, compass and warehouse of intuitions that prompt us with clues and urges to seek those paths that would best enable it to unfold and develop in the highest capacity. Unfortunately, either 1) we do not hear it clearly because we have adopted the impressions of our environment, 2) we hear it but misunderstand its meaning with a wrong concept, or 3) we hear it, understand it clearly, but are too indolent and distracted to follow through. So scant are those who hear the intuitions of the soul clearly, understand it completely, and follow through diligently. So few that I purposely do not mention them, for we men have the habit of always giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt and thus including ourselves among the exceptionalism when we need not to.
The intuitions and impressions are like a call from eternity. It increases to a restlessness and agitation when unrealized. An agitation that informs us we are either on the wrong path, to make slight changes, or there is infinitely more to realize ahead on the one we are on. What complicates matters is our false concepts, unhealthy expectations, indolence and endless distractions. The individual seeking to develop his soul and answer its call must battle through all these obstacles that form impediments to hearing and properly understanding the intuitions of the soul. It is not easy by any means, for it is quite tempting to confuse our selfish desires with the urgings of the soul. The souls hunger can be satiated only through the development that lies in unfolding the powers along the pursuance of a certain course.
Anyone seeking to answer this call from eternity will first of all find himself battling through the weeds of the noise in his own head. The voice of the soul will sound muffled with other clamorous sounds like a radio station pendulously swinging between different broadcasts when passing by an area of mixed signals! Only in the ensuing struggle will he realize how much harm he has done to himself through adopting different concepts, desires and impressions from his environment. Even when he wishes to be an individual, he will encounter the resistance of the subconscious notions deeply implanted within him. He will lament, he will struggle, he will exert, he will battle, he will continue fighting for himself. Fighting for the chance to be free to listen to the broadcast of the soul clearly in order to understand what to do. It will leave him no peace until he does so. Forsooth, it will even grow louder and louder with the passing days. So loud will it become that out of restlessness and agitation he will be forced to completely drown out the noise through submerging himself in distractions and wrong courses, or he will be emboldened to unsheathe the sword of warfare to fight himself toward liberation. The increasing pressure of longing in the soul for liberation and development is inexorably driving everyone toward fulfilling upon himself either of the two. So as each man has an army to battle comprised of his own demons, our criticizing tongue should rest not upon the flaws of our neighbors but upon ourselves and our own battle. Lest in the momentary distraction we are besieged and subsumed. Where will we end up? What course are we choosing? It depends solely upon the fight we are willing to wage. A fight that cannot be won without the reinforcement of Light from above.
Lord, may thy power rest upon all who beseech it for this purpose! That we might earn the victory of the spirit and thus a resurrection to new life.
~Ikenna Q Ezealah