Addiction to anything has two pillars. The first pillar is to narcotize oneself from dealing with a reality one feels impotent to face, the second pillar is to induce the sensations of an aspiration one feels quite unable to reach. In some way, every struggle a person undergoes will invariably fall into one of these categories.
Faced with an unideal circumstance that feels difficult, monotonous and even overwhelming, a sensation of being “stuck” in a purgatory of uninspiring tedium has a pressured effect on the soul. The inability to handle or deal with this harsh reality that is one’s reality encourages the person from adopting behaviors and/or forms meant to inoculate them. It is a way of building an atmosphere around the earth of the spirit to protect it from the debris of the cosmic sky of reality.
In the second part, an individual might have an ideal, aspiration or goal that is an object of deepest longing. Yet the distance between its realization and the point in which a person stands makes it feel unattainable. The gap that sometimes cause a type of hopelessness. In addition, it should be carefully noted that the attractive element of every ideal goal we long for is the exertion and energetic inner euphoria required to reach it. That is what is most coveted. There is a measure of joy in that Shangri-La we are seeking. Feeling the unbridgeable chasm of inner rapture inherent in this ideal goal and where one stands, the trap becomes to artificially induce the sensations or inner euphoria one is longing to experience and would experience in this goals attainment. In other words, one bridges the unbridgebility of our circumstantial distaste and our future ideal with the surrogate of fantasizing. Fantasy, requiring its own proxy of joy, will seek out behaviors and forms that helps to induce the temporal feelings and sensations that is a shadow of joy.
So invariably in each case of addiction, one is trying to numb oneself from a harsh reality or artificially experience the sensations that comes with actualizing some distant goal that seems unreachable in a present distasteful or unideal condition. So we either build an atmosphere around ourselves or enter a fantasy to bring the euphoria of fulfilling some unfulfilled desire closer to our present reality.
To search one’s heart and to understand oneself is essential here. One should seek to understand the urges the heart and the context of the struggle. If this is not done as a first step, there is one thing I can guarantee you: the desires will keep on flaring up time and again to fetter you in the same depressing ouroboros of 1) exertion, 2) fall, 3) regret, 4) hope. Ad infinitum.
~Ikenna Q Ezealah