The first step toward viewing experiences in a light that can enable us to draw the appropriate conclusions from which we can grow is by relinquishing all benefit of the doubt we give ourselves. If the benefit of the doubt we give ourselves always outweigh what we offer others, we will never draw the right lessons that supports our growth. No matter how much effort we exert. For experiences come to teach us about ourselves in the first place. It tutors us into the condition of our heart, our reaction, our disposition, our silent attitudes and our unquestioned rigid concepts. Only when we see this clearly are we able to understand and properly assess our neighbor. Never before.
We must really be severe with ourselves and renounce this ironclad benefit of the doubt that so inebriates us into a false sense of victimhood. That allows us to believe our problems were engineered and primarily constructed through the transgressions of others, and thus robs us of the capacity to question our motives, attitude and concept of the happening. It is also this irresponsible benefit of the doubt that prompts us humans to ask “How can God allow this or that?” In this, we have decided our concepts and perspectives are infallible, inviolable, sacrosanct and thus untouchable, thus God must answer for anything we perceive to be an issue. We are victims He must answer to! Do you see the arrogance in this behavior?
I have experienced the highest growth and unfolding when I eliminated this benefit of the doubt and sought to approach the situation from a neutral perspective of first questioning myself and the contents of my own heart. In searching for the lesson essential for me to personally grow. It is a constant effort because victimhood is tempting and easy. It is sweet and comforting, but in this there is no power. Only when we are willing to apply to ourselves the same fire we so freely give others do we reserve any capacity for building the foundation of insights from which real growth is possible. Once an individual truly grasps the lesson about himself he is meant to learn, where and what in his own soul he is meant to change, and thus makes an earnest effort to change it through consistent efforts…he will discover a miracle. Namely, the power of external parties and happenings to push him hither and thither becomes neutralized. He becomes a steady tree whose roots progressively reaches deeper into the soil of self-awareness. However, this is not a one-time effort, but a continuous process of daily application. For movement is a sacred Law of Creation. Continuous eternal movement.
~Ikenna Q Ezealah