The struggle to find Christmas

Modern life is consumed with different desires, many distractions, multiple needs, manifold wants, innmerable demands and inexhaustible hassles that even when the blessed season of Christmas commences, the average man finds himself divided and inwardly fatigued. He is weary and constricted in pitiful degrees to his own sorrow. He perceives he should joyfully join in the upsurge and upwelling of the tide of holy awe and supreme gratitude that spiritually sweeps the heavens and the cosmos during this sacred time. He desires it, yet he struggles to find connection. In this realization, he supplements his perceived deficit with kind words, with nice shows, with goodwill media, with genial social media posts etc. Externally he appears engaged in the season, but all these endeavors still leave a vacant feeling in his heart. A feeling of emptiness intimating these efforts are not enough. The world sees him as festive, sees him as swinging in the season, but deep in his soul the full buoyancy of upward flight is stymied by something.

He finds the more he engages to even “spead cheer”, a paradox emerges in which he divides himself through the many conduits of attention he has committed to. On one hand he feels “goodwill”, but on the other he feels “scattered”. Fortuitously he periodically catches a moment of inner repose in which, through the deep silence of reflection and contemplation bereft of the clamor of endless voices, he is able to regain some balance in profound absorption. But alas!…no sooner does this moment commence do the million tasks and struggles of daily life loudly shout to immediately terminate it. And so, before the flower blossoms, its growth is hindered. He painfully experiences upon himself how the structure of modern life, despite the colorful appearances and so-called cheer, is a spiritual concentration camp whose dynamics and energy is so engineered to fetter the wings of the spirit and diffuse its energy to an inglorious whimper. But he longs to transform, he longs for rebirth, so there is but one recourse: to fight and exert all powers of the spirit to enforce its will during this time. To struggle for the connection upward for the protection of itself, so it is not lost in the hamster wheel of distracting drudgery.

These distractions of life today offer formidable resistance, but the individual must prove his earnestness through the sincerest focus and relentlessness of efforts. He must battle to protect himself from commercialism, from distractions, from demands, from desires, from wants, from needs, from this and that. He must wage war against the see-sawing of modern conveniences to form a protected space around himself. A sacred space for reflection about the Savior and His Mission. A solemn space to enter into a profound assessment of his life, his decisions, his path and scrutinize to what degree he has truly endeavored to internalize and live the teachings of Jesus. The teachings that came at such a momentous price as the crime of the crucifixion. The distractions of modern life are a blessing when viewed differently, for through it man is divided into sheep and goats. Through it, we are setenced through our indolence to superficiality and a slow erosion of spirit and endless distractions, or we are catalyzed to conflagrate inwardly to unprecedent growth.

It is in this struggle to find Christmas, to connect with its essence, to outpour the tides of gratitude from within so it establishes a nexus with the grander heavenly waves sweeping across the Universe that we grow, based on our orientation, determination and earnestness. Or weaken through our indolence, superficiality and indifference. In this struggle, may each reach the goal.

Merry Christmas.

~Ikenna Q Ezealah

About Ikenna Q Ezealah

Ikenna Q Ezealah is a writer, author and essayist whose themes embrace human-spiritual development.
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