Person: “He/she really irritates me!”
Reality: “No, it is your impatience, your intolerance, your rigidity, your narrow outlook, and your distorted concepts you choose to nurse that make you feel irritated. Change your outlook, change your experience. They only give what they are, but what you allow and choose to awaken within you is solely your responsibility.”
Expressed differently: what oppresses the soul arises from our reaction, not the presumed wrong deeds of others. Our reaction, however, stemmed from a preexisting concept and attitude that only flared the moment an opportunity presented itself. With this unhappiness springing from our reaction which we erroneously outsource to others as being the cause, one usually finds an insecurity of ego whose equilibrium depends on the actions of others satisfying the narrow behavioral mandates of our expectations. Similar to the way a tyrant enjoys only the semblance of peace by the fearful submission of the masses to his will. In like fashion, the peace many enjoy is only a consequence of others meeting the narrow expectations of the ego in some way. The moment this is upset, however, is the moment unhappiness and oppression is felt. For some expectation is lacerated. This oppression is the shattering of the veneer of calm that prompts anger, bitterness, and blaming.
In reality, the flustered one need be thankful for the other who actually helped him excavate the frailties of his soul. For from this recognition arises the possibility of making a permanent change through the corresponding strengthening. It is a continuous challenge. But real growth is based on the conquest of self, not an outsourcing of responsibility to others.
~Ikenna Q Ezealah