Upon reflecting, I realized every grudge I have ever held in life was always predicated on the assumption that some opportunity for happiness and growth was in some way denied me or hindered by a person. Specifically, that MY concept of what I deemed the best opportunity and means for my development, welfare, growth, and ultimate happiness was obstructed, stymied or eliminated by another. And that I am now, on that account, laboring under contingent and second-rate conditions. That is the core of all grudges I have ever nursed.
Here is the key part: when I eventually realized and experienced that what I was “denied” was actually not the best means for my growth and ultimate happiness, and what I thought I was “unfairly exposed to” was actually one of the best means of my growth, welfare and happiness…when I truly experienced this on the deepest level with no pretense, then the grudge started fading and dissolving through the heat of a liberating and wider understanding.
This must be inwardly experienced through and through. It cannot be forced or pretended. It is not so easy and overnight for most of us. It might take a while. Hopefully betimes. But that is what I have invariably discovered.
~Ikenna Q Ezealah